You Don’t Drive a Minivan? You Should. Here’s Why.
We often shun the ones that can help our
lives the most. Maybe out of pride. Perhaps ignorance. Many of us are
looking for good solid family material, yet reject prospects that are
committed and generous.
I am, of course, talking about minivans. If you want to know more about dating, I suggest the Modern Love column.
But
whether you’ve outgrown your youthful dalliances with high-maintenance
coupes or you’ve always been a practical-minded hatchback owner who is
now ready for true commitment, a minivan might be the ultimate symbol of
adulthood. And let me tell you, as a guy who drives nearly 100
different vehicles a year, I’ll testify that minivans are magical for
simplifying life.
But
minivans are becoming harder to find. Ford, General Motors, Hyundai,
Nissan and Mazda have all abandoned the segment because of sagging
sales. Blame sport utility vehicles and crossovers. Chevrolet alone will
have six of them in its stable once the 2019 Blazer hits showrooms. BMW
will soon have one more than that, with the X1 through the X7.
Just
five minivans are on the market today: the Chrysler Pacifica, the Dodge
Grand Caravan, the Honda Odyssey, the Kia Sedona and the Toyota Sienna.
And all of them are hip, even if they’re square.
Minivans aren’t always hitting you up for gas money
Four-wheel
mass transit doesn’t get much more efficient than the Chrysler Pacifica
E-Hybrid. This plug-in hybrid’s lithium-ion battery provides about 33
miles of grocery-getting solely on electric power for an impressive 84
miles per gallon equivalent.
Once the
Pacifica’s battery is depleted, the gas engine seamlessly and
automatically engages to cover more than 500 miles, and the drivetrain’s
operation is as smooth as the baby bottoms it carries.
The Pacifica
is the only hybrid van and the only one with foot-activated side doors,
a godsend when hands are full of groceries, fussy toddlers or both.
Charging every evening significantly reduces gas station visits.
There are disadvantages, though. The Pacifica’s batteries live where the
second-row Stow ’n Go seats normally drop in the gas-powered model. And
it’s so quiet you’ll hear the kids arguing more clearly.
They’re more than their mom-friendly rep
Despite their mom-mobile reputation, minivans actually draw more dads.
“Men buy 60 percent of them,” said Steve Beahm, head of passenger car brands at Fiat Chrysler Automobiles.
Toyota’s
research indicates that it’s women who tend to be more sensitive to the
minivan’s mom-friendly stereotype, said Rick LoFaso, the general
manager of Toyota Vehicle Marketing.
“It
doesn’t resonate as much with males,” he said. “We owned a Sienna that I
loved. My wife was very happy once a Highlander crossover took its
place.”
Vans are underrated haulers, capable of
swallowing full sheets of building material or giant 70-inch television
impulse buys. And unlike uncovered pickup beds, minivans keep those
items secure and dry.
The Sienna’s
outstanding feature is all-wheel drive — it is the only minivan to offer
it — and the standard model comes with a suite of active electric
safety features, including automatic emergency braking with pedestrian
detection.
Need more
machismo? The Sienna SE is dressed with 19-inch wheels, smoked headlamp
lenses and sporty spoilers. To fully embrace a bad-boy image, choose the
Pacifica’s S package. Trim, wheels and the interior get the black
treatment to make it the most menacing van at the playground.
“The
S is attracting a lot of women,” said Mary Ann Capo, part of Chrysler’s
marketing department. “In all black it’s a real mean-looking machine.”
Vans are the original sport utility vehicle
The
Chrysler Town and Country, Dodge Caravan and Plymouth Voyager triplets
were revolutionary transportation when they arrived in 1983, becoming an
instant hit with active families. S.U.V.s — a term that didn’t exist
yet — were thirsty, ungainly trucks. The front-wheel-drive minivan drove
like a car, carried sheets of plywood and toted half the kid’s soccer
team in comfort, all while getting decent fuel economy. Sliding doors
eliminated the horror of kids clumsily dinging the car next to yours,
which invariably ended up being a Mercedes.
Those
vans even saved Chrysler from bankruptcy. But by 1990, suburban America
had begun to shun the image of domestic drudgery that vans had
developed. Ford had a perfect solution: the Explorer. This gentrified
truck, aimed squarely at women, was easier for kids to enter and exit,
had a commanding view of the road and told the world, “After we drop
Ashley off at day care, we’re going mountain climbing!”
Our
love affair with S.U.V.s and crossovers has pushed the minivan to the
fringes. Minivan sales are down by about 5 percent from last year,
according to Mr. Beahm of Fiat Chrysler. But sales of sedans have fallen
even further, so in a way, vans are holding their own against the
S.U.V. onslaught.
And
with good reason. Consider the Kia Sedona, which is as sleek and
stylish as a van can get. It has 78.4 cubic feet of cargo space behind
its second row, compared with 57.5 in Ford’s full-size Expedition — and
the Kia is nine inches shorter. The van makes hauling family and gear to
Yosemite a walk in the park: Sliding paddle boards or kayaks into one
is easier than using roof racks on high-riding S.U.V.s. In short, vans
can offer more utility than your sport utility vehicle.
They’re a dog’s (and a back’s) best friend
Not
only does a minivan work for your 2.5 kids, but the low floor is within
easy hopping distance of little pooches, or bigger pooches that aren’t
as nimble as they once were. Crates slip effortlessly through the wide
rear doors, with less lifting than at the back of an S.U.V.
Cheryl
Vincent has a 2018 Honda Odyssey and a Porsche — her 11-year-old bull
terrier. She works for Guide Dogs for the Blind in Boring, Ore., and is a
member of the National Association of Canine Scent Work.
“I
do dog sports, like agility and obedience, plus scent detection,” she
said. “I’m always lugging around lots of boxes of materials for
teaching. My husband, John, and I travel, so there’s plenty of room for
us, Porsche, our luggage and education materials. It’s perfect for us.”
Ms. Vincent’s Odyssey has a built-in vacuum that keeps its interior fur-free. And she even likes how it handles.
“It drives like a regular car,” she said. “I know minivans have a bad rap, but it drives very well — kind of sporty, actually.”
It’s
no Porsche, but then again neither is Honda’s Pilot crossover. Unless
you’re buying an actual Porsche, it’s probably not worth worrying about —
and Porsche’s midsize Cayenne crossover starts at double the Odyssey’s
base price of $30,090.
A relationship with compromises, but not that many
My
parents, Eugene and Mary Lou — the proud president of the Slovenian
Union of America — retired to coastal Alabama after raising a family in
Minnesota. They often load up their 2015 Town and Country — a dearly
departed model that lives on in the form of the Dodge Grand Caravan — to
head north to visit friends. They got 26 miles to the gallon on the
last trip, my dad said.
“We like it because it’s comfortable and roomy and we can haul your mom’s Slovenian stuff,” he said.
But
minivans aren’t just for lugging around hobby supplies and carrying
kids. They can get an active family to the bike trail as easily as a
Jeep (more easily, in some ways) or carry eight people across town
without having to be a $50,000 Chevy Suburban at 16 miles per gallon in
the city.
Still not sold on any of these five minivans? Volkswagen has confirmed a fully electric van — the I.D. Buzz, a modern take on the classic Microbus — for the United States market in 2022.
Minivans
might not be the hottest thing on the road, but maturity is sexy, too.
Don’t think so? There’s nothing like a van full of kids to demonstrate a
healthy love life — and true commitment.
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Trim, wheels and the interior get the black treatment to make it the most menacing van at the playground. refrigerated vans
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